Hurriedness, Isolation, and Division, Oh My!

A testimony on the fasting journey by Deanna Deaton

Week One Fast: Television and Social Media. Success. Sort of. I did well with Social Media but watched at least one TV show per night to keep me company and comfort the dog.

Week Two Fast: Hurriedness. Success. Totally. I felt the slow-down in body and spirit.

Week Three Fast: Isolation. Success. Sort of. I tried really hard to make new connections with those around me but didn’t successfully spend time with anyone outside of my normal people. I’m going to continue working on this one while seeking to be mindful of personal boundaries.

Week Four Fast: Food. Success! I successfully made it through my week of fasting the grocery store and CVS. The week was hard. I missed shopping for deals. But I prayed a lot, saved quite a bit of money, and learned that I could survive without buying gifts. Because of my fasting momentum, I was even able to go into Hallmark and only purchase what I went to buy. That is huge.

Week Five Fast: Division 

I began this week’s fast by joining the church. I’ve been going to Antioch for quite some time, but I hadn’t felt led to move my membership until three Sundays ago. I waited that Sunday because I hadn’t talked about it with my family. I waited last Sunday because we didn’t sing an invitation hymn. I almost waited this past Sunday because so many people responded to the invitation. But I walked my two pews of an aisle and stood beside the pastor and declared my desire to stand alongside him and the church as we move forward together. I didn’t realize until later how truly significant it was—and is—that I joined the church the week that our pastor challenged us to fast division…the thoughts that separate…the things that keep us apart.

The timing of each week’s fast has been serendipitous.

When I think of division, I think of separation. Misunderstanding. Bitterness. Discord. Battles. Lack of harmony. Absence of unity. Situations unresolved. Fear of being seen.

When I think of division, I do not think of peace. When I think of division, I do not think of compassion…or love.

Is it any surprise, then, that my devotion from yesterday was a prayer for peace and that my devotion for today is a prayer for compassion?

Prince of Peace, whose peace cannot be kept unless it is shared, I seek to receive your peace and communicate peace to others today…I know that if I want peace in my heart, I cannot harbor resentment. I seek forgiveness for any negative criticism, gossip, or destructive innuendos I have spoken. Forgive any way that I have brought bitterness to my relationships instead of helping bring peace into misunderstandings. You have shown me that being a reconciler is essential for a continued, sustained experience of your peace. Most of all, I know that lasting peace is the result of your indwelling Spirit, your presence in my mind and heart…Show me how to be a communicator of peace that passes understanding. Help me picture the people with whom I am to be a peacemaker, bringing healing reconciliation, deeper understanding, and open communication.

And who do I picture? My students and colleagues. 

Gracious God, repeatedly in the Gospels I read the words, “He had compassion.”…Thank you, Lord, that you have resources, people, and unanticipated strength to help me do today what those around me cannot imagine possible—show compassion and love. Break through my protective layers and the protective layers of those I meet with blessings we cannot anticipate. Then, send me to the broken-hearted to communicate Your healing power.

And where has God sent me? Back to the public schools. To work with students, teachers, staff, and parents.

God’s grace is great enough to meet the great things,

The crashing waves that overwhelm the soul.

The roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless,

The sudden storms beyond our control.

God’s grace is great enough to meet the small things,

The little pin-prick troubles that annoy,

The persistent worries, buzzing and unrelenting,

The squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.

(--Annie Johnson Flint)

God’s grace is great enough.

God’s strength is strong enough.

God’s desire for unity is powerful enough.

I am so glad.